Remember that commercial about those potato crisps, the ones which bet that “you can’t just eat one?” Yes, I know, they were so bloody addictive! It starts with one crisp, but then you end up eating the entire bag. As I sought for the woman who ate my dessert, I was still very hungry, so I reached for the nearest boulder and sunk my teeth into it. “Just one,” I thought as I ate it. I then reached for another, and another, eating boulders by the bunch. When I reached for my tenth boulder, my body shifted to a dark and pale blue color and my eyes glowed purple. By then, the boulders seemed more like melons. I ate and grew with such stature to the point that I became large enough to consume houses, buildings, mountains, planets, stars, galaxies, universes; yes, more, I wanted more! Before I realized it, I was at a vantage point where I could see everything within our creation again. Except this time, the entire tenth dimension was in front of my open mouth, no larger than an apple within the palm of my hand. I sobbed in anguish at my folly which left me with an utterly unsatisfied craving for chocolate.
“Maaaaaaaaaaxxxxxx!” my wail shook the eleventh dimension as radiant tears ran down my cheeks. I buried my head in my Maxel’s purple chest fur then looked up into his glowing blue eyes. After my greed and gluttony made me unleash this form, Maxel stayed with me and allowed his body to also unravel in its might as quickly as my own. I took hold of his upper arm and caressed the meaty bulge. Then, I took in strength from him, both emotionally and literally. You can picture such a sight as if looking at a cover of a tragic cosmic romance novel. Two beings of immense stature with the powerful maiden in her lover’s embrace. Even as I absorbed his energy through touch, Maxel’s power didn’t relent and his arms held me tighter against his still swelling body. I let out a whimper as the energy pushed inside of me, then multiplied, magnified and filled me with more mass. Creaked and groaned came in response from our bodies trying to keep us contained.
Maxel made a sympathetic chuckle. That big oaf would always laugh whenever I was upset and stayed close to me. Lowsy cube-ball-brained mongrel who kept that positive energy flowing. Is it no wonder I loved him so much. I pulled my head out of his chest and looked at my hand. The multiverse that had all of the universes of every possibility, I held within two fingers looking no larger than a jellybean. I imagined the fate of countless innocent lives I held within my finger tips, then I squeezed it, allowing the ooze of its cosmic syrup to leak out in front of my eye.
“Did you get your cake?” he finally asked.
“No!” I cried. “I destroyed paradise and that bug bitch got away!” I shoved the broken jelly-bean in my mouth, ugh, hardly filling to me now.
“Might as well try again. Start from step one with the boom?”
I nodded, there was really only one way we could go now. I leaned in, allowing one hand to hold his tush and I pressed my overbearing bosom onto his pecs, we both leaned in and kissed, allowing untold amounts of passionate matter and antimatter to cross between us. The sudden surge of power hit us and we both let go, allowing our bodies to lose containment.
When we came to after the explosion, we found ourselves smaller, but still larger than space-time, watching streams of time-film run around our bodies. I suspect we were fully decompressed fifth-dimensional beings right now, still too big to work on a house, but more than big enough to hold the streams of time. Once we saw which frame in time we had to go into we compressed ourselves to human sized again and entered, heading into a universe that looked roughly like an L-shape and traveled to a cube-shaped planet. It seemed tropical enough with trees shaped like palms, literally hand palms with finger nails covered in leaves. The beach was made from grains of sparking crystals with the scent of sweet sugary oceans.
“Gotta admit, this place will always give you a hand up. hah!” my jester of a husband-brother told me as he hovered.
“As long as they kept their hands to themselves,” I replied. “This place is good enough. Let’s build over there. Break ground would you dear?”
“Okay! Here I come! cannon ba—”
Maxel had wanted to dive in like that and I knew he was going to land in the ground with as much weight as a wrecking ball. That part was obvious. What I had not expected was for him to go straight down and deep into the hole.
“Maxx?” I called out. Cracks spread from the hole and snaked under me and through the ocean. More cracks spread out into the horizon. The land, once smooth and calm split into columns that rose and sank. A massive cliff tilted and fell towards me. I raised my arms up to block but only felt something akin to foam hit me and it broke into massive chunks. I picked up the house-sized rubble and observed its density. It crumbled without so much of a squeeze. Surely our strength wasn’t that high. No, the land itself lacked sturdiness. Even a mere human would be a super being on this planet easily able to lift these pieces as if they were props.
Green magma erupted followed by a bang and flashes of light that surrounded me. It disappeared after a while revealing nothing but space. When I cleared my eyes, I found Maxx floating a ways away with a puzzled look on his face.
“What just happened?” he asked.
“Your cannonball destroyed the planet darling,” I told him.
“How? I was at my weakest.”
“So was the planet, far too weak. Come, let’s try another.”
And we did, with a star shaped one that snapped when I rubbed on it, a cone shaped one which oozed all of its magma from the bottom when I took a bite of it and a pyramid shaped planet that had the consistency of a cracker. Even a change in universe made it worse, where a touch of a star started a runaway cosmic fireworks accident.
“GAWD! Everything is too fragile now, even bugs could wreck this place!” I shouted. I could almost see some of the planets shift and move by my angry bellow. This weak creation was no place for safe house for the Overpowered.
“Ah well. I guess it’s time for another big bang reset. Up for some more?” Maxel asked.
I lunged and held Maxel’s shoulders, licking my lips and bared my sharp teeth in anticipation for more power feeding. You never, ever had to ask me twice if I wanted more power. By the time I held him, I already sported amazonian proportions and doubled that within a split second. “I want more from you Maxx. Give me more!” I cooed in his ear. Demanding more of him always made him more. It was his nature to produce more power on demand. Once I made that demand, he grew, sporting a look as if he was a champion wrestler then beefed up into the Mr. Muscle category. Our next growth shot us up past a few moons and we emerged planetary sized with an ominous glow on our bodies. I figured it would take about another minute or so before we let loose another explosion. We embraced each other, the simple act of love ripped apart the solar system.
“Excuse me folks.”
We stopped as a faceless pale-skinned man sat in front of us at a desk no larger than a laptop to us. His arms and appendages from his back touched several panels in a hurried frenzy.
“Ugh, you two are the reason why my job is–”
“Who invited you?!” I blasted at him with embarrassment. The power in my voice rushed right through him and tore apart a distant universe. That attack should have at least hurt him, a projection perhaps? He stopped for a moment and turned his head back making a scowl as the distant universe exploded into cosmic smoke.
“I’m from the Holy Continuum Exchange, Creative Services Department,” he said. “There’s a problem in here that I need to bring to your attention.”
“What could possibly be wrong with our creation? It’s ours to do as we see fit!”
“Mynn, let the god speak, I want to hear what he needs to say so we can get back to destroying all of this,” Maxel said.
“That’s the point,” The Man said. “You can’t destroy or create as you are in your current states. We’ve received a lot of complaints about too much noise, too many tremors and too much power coming from this creation, especially when you two had your last ‘big bang.’”
Was this guy some type of voyeur who made watching our powerful creativity a mundane job? I held onto Maxel tighter as my cheeks heated up, utterly embarrassed and angered being leered like this. More power rushed between us, and our bodies plumped thicker before his eyes as the space fabric between dimensions began showing its stretch marks. The faceless man cleared his throat.
“I’m going to have to ask you to stop creating. You are way too powerful.”