Mynette Obercosm

#8 – Builder Bartering


   They say: “powerful women think alike,” especially when it comes to building an empire. As the Goddess of this creation, my Overpowered House would be the humble centerpiece from which I can live and others who may visit will know where the center of power is. Still, I do not claim to know what there is to know about building and trying to find someone of proper competency has been an utter chore. 
   But today, I had a rather long conversation from a Queen whose insect race I’ve grown to adore. She told me a couple pointers on how to rule which were quite fun. I decided to hire her people along with future considerations. I don’t care what you think of that. I’d much rather depend more on strong, independent and capable women over bands of mindless musical men. These women travel planet-to-planet to build very strong and sturdy homes for mass civilizations including their own. If they could do that, surely building one extremely strong house was a simple task. At least, that was my understanding when I got a call back the next day with a sudden apology from her. 
   “None can be spared while we protect the colony,” Queen Myerma told me in a feverish tone. 
   “Protect the colony from what?” I asked her, I heard a bang on the phone speaker and shouting in the background. Myerma said something I couldn't make out and sighed. I pressed on. “Darling, I am a Goddess. The Goddess. If there is something that’s threatening you, let me come to your aid, at least as incentive.”
   “No!” she gasped. 
   “No?” I asked in hilarity “What could possibly be more threatening than me?”
   A long pause, as I heard more bangs in the background and with panicked voices getting louder and louder.
   “I’m sorry Mynette. I’m really sorry. I have to respectfully withdraw from our agreement. I have to protect my people at all costs now and make a stand here.”
   “At all costs-- Darling, let me join the fight as your ally. None will dare cross the--”
   The phone clicked. Shit! I forgot to ask where her planet was, then I could get to the bottom of this. I dialed the phone number again and was only greeted with voice mail. At least she was as honest as she could be. It made me unsettled that she would outright hide something about what was going on her end. More concerning was that someone else, likely from the outside, might be making a mess of things. I’ll eventually have to deal with that sooner or later. 

   I opened the services directory app once more and resumed my Overpowered Builder search while pace-floating a few feet in the air. 
   “’Allo, Physique Maison.” greeted a man in a heavily accented voice. 
   “Well hello darling,” I greeted in-kind, “I am looking for someone to build me a very study home for me, my husband-brother and my overly powerful guests.” 
   “A home for you? Are you not at home with yourself?” he asked. 
   “I don’t have a house.” 
   “But you have a body yes?” 
   I turned and floated back in the other direction. “Yes.”
   “Then, I can build you a body you like, strong, powerful, or just fit. Your Physique Maison! Yes!” 
   “Darling, I’m already all the above and more. What I want is a house!” 
   “You are built like a Brickhouse? Barnhouse? Bombhouse? Pearhouse?—”
   “No, you idiot! I want a home! A home I can live inside! An actual house!” 
   “Oh! Then I can’t help you.”
   “What? Why?”
   “We are a gym, we build bodies. Homely bodies. Bodies you can take home and—” 
   I hung up on him. Moron! If he saw my body, he’d probably drool for a bit until I transformed and scare the living ‘physique’ out of him. 

   I turned through more pages within the services directory app, my finger nails having lengthened and sharpened ready to tear this blasted phone into pieces. “Home Wiz - Conjuring up your dream home right in front of your eyes,” I said. 
   I tapped on the call button. Magic was something I could never get my head around, let alone bots. The voice of an old man greeted me and I told him about what I was looking for in my house. 
   “That is doable and can be done within an hour. But you understand the kind of prices we charge?”
   “Perhaps we can trade. I am the Goddess after all.” 
   “Really? The same one who reset our universe twice?”  
   I froze for a moment and almost dropped my phone in shock. “How did you know that?” I asked him. “More so, how did you survive both explosions?” 
   He laughed a rough laugh. “A magical trade secret my dear.” 
   It would seem there were also beings who did not leave from the time of the previous owners of the creation. What could we do? We used the vast majority of our savings to purchase this used creation instead of a new one and figured a romantic big bang or two would have wiped out any lingering life. Clearly I was wrong.   
   “I see.”  
   “And, we plan on continuing to stay Mynette, no matter how powerful you become.” 
   My hand twitched on my phone just enough that I could hear it crack. 
   “So, let’s talk about our first meeting,” he said. “It will be around two-thousand credits for a land assessment, then another three for a mind-assessment. It’s very important to make sure the services won’t do anything to hurt you.” 
   “Hurt me?” My hilarity oozed into my cell phone microphone. 
   “We're very strict on safety. After that, a dream read would be performed. That cost depends on the type of being or species you actually are. It is clear to me that you’re not omniscient. I doubt you actually have divine power and durability like an absolute.”
   “And how would you know these things?” 
   “If you were truly divine, more than likely you’d know my name already,” he replied. 
   “And what is your name?” 
   “That, is also a magical trade secret, no offense, it’s just business.” 
   The arrogance of this old man was distasteful to my palette.
   “Once that’s done, we estimate the cost. After we get approval and full payment, poof. We would conjure a structure that fits what you’re looking for before your eyes. Magic.” 
   Magic, as if it can poof anything out of thin air like on those cartoons.
   “I almost forgot, Goddesses, real or fake, get 10 percent off the costs of assessments.” 
   “WHAT?!” I boomed.  
   “Oh dear, my apologies for being too loud,” I said in the most feminine voice I could ‘conjure’. “I do get a little excited at such a deal breaker. So, let me get back to you on that.” 
   “I look forward to your next call, Mynette.” 
   I pressed the hang up button a little too hard made a huge crack on the screen. I took a deep breath and roared up into the heavens blasting the clouds away. 
   Maxel zipped to my side. “Mynn, why did you unsettle the atmosphere like that?” 
   “I can’t find a blasted contractor to build our house!” I cried. 
   “Couldn’t we just keep trying? We have lots of time.” 
   “Why? Either I get weaklings afraid to serve us for free, idiots who don’t know what the hell a house is or flying pigs who claim they can hurt me and charge a high price!” 
   I fainted on the land with a thump leaving my body embedded in the ground. So woeful the situation, so helpless the situation, so utterly impossible the situation. But then, as I went to turned my head back up, I saw a pair of white boots land that were connected to large calf muscles larger than my own. They stood on either side of my head. A shadow of someone loomed over me, bending over, hands on hips.
   “Hey, I want to talk to you!”

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